Of course, moms can solve any problem and dads have the answer to every question. If only it worked that way… We – parents – live under the pressure that we must always be able to explain everything to our child and solve their problems from start to finish in the most constructive way. But what if we told you that sometimes your presence, your touch, and your hug are all it takes for your little one to feel understood? Let’s talk a bit more about attachment parenting for older children.
Solving a Child’s Problems Is a Challenge
When a baby is just a few months old, blocks that won’t fit together are a tragedy. For a two-year-old, a banana sliced the “wrong” way is the end of the world, and a five-year-old who doesn’t get an answer to “Why is milk white?” can have a full-on meltdown. Yes, the problems grow along with their height.
Solving a child’s problems is not easy – even if it’s just a block tower. Children see us as authorities and walking encyclopedias, and we don’t want to disappoint them. We put pressure on ourselves, which leads to guilt when we can’t explain something that’s important to them. But that’s not really the point…
A child is curious about the world, asks endless questions, and needs help solving problems. This is natural and completely normal. As a parent, you don’t have to instantly deliver answers and solutions like an app. What your little one wants is your support – and that’s not measured by your general knowledge.
How Can Attachment Parenting Help You Solve Your Child’s Problems?
Maybe it’s worth approaching the topic from a different angle. Attachment parenting is often talked about in the context of infants. But what about older children – don’t they need closeness too?
Everyone needs it, and when we have it, we feel safe and understood. Children raised with attachment parenting tend to be more empathetic. They are open to the world, observe it with interest, and also analyze it. They are better at naming their emotions and managing stress.
What does that have to do with solving a child’s problems? Well, it makes conversations easier. Such a child can understand when you don’t know something or can’t explain it. In tough moments, your presence and a hug are enough. So how can you be that kind of parent?
Talk to your child a lot, even about everyday things – how their day was at preschool or what they did at the playground.
Involve your child in daily life and responsibilities, such as shopping, cleaning, or going to the post office.
Let them see your world – show them what you do at work and what you’re involved in.
Hug them whenever the opportunity arises.
Name feelings – talk about what you feel and why.
Hugging a Child Has Power – Why Is It So Important?
For a child, a hug is the cheapest, quickest, and most easily available remedy for all the bad things. Frustration, sadness, anger, disappointment, fear… hugging a child in those moments brings comfort. This is how you can solve many of their problems without saying a word.
What does hugging a child do?
Calms the child and stimulates their development.
Promotes the release of oxytocin and serotonin – a bit like a natural, fast-acting antidepressant.
Regulates emotions and helps the child regain balance.
Supports self-esteem.
Is simply something nice and pleasant.
The days when a parent was a walking encyclopedia are, thankfully, behind us. Not every situation or problem requires words and explanations. Solving a child’s problems is not only about giving specific answers and solutions but also about building their self-esteem and confidence. When you don’t know what to do or say, just give them a hug. Let the magic happen.
